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F.any.T
01 January 2013 @ 12:28 pm
so my plan to kiss a total (handsome) stranger under the harbor firework on new year's day didn't pan out well. I blew it up with the guy awkwardly, well, blame the god-forsaken ill-timing period cramps for ruining the whole scheme.

but we all need something new so happy new year and wish this year gonna be better and happier
 
 
F.any.T
01 October 2012 @ 06:19 pm
It already feels like the end of the year.

Hello, my name is Phuong


My existence on this Planet Earth has miraculously been extended to more than 23 years and I can't be anymore surprised.


Number of things I achieved this year: zero.
No award. No special mention in any category.
but if you count quitting Facebook as an achievement then, hooray, I got one.
and alcohol, I have been clean for 3 months now
but ay, it wasn't all that bad with the alcohol.
the more I down, the higher my esteem get. Temporarily. after that, it just spirals down the extreme roller coaster of my intestines and down the toilet. hell.

Let's talk about hell

My last boss suggested that I should start a diary (that all happened before I call it quit) to straighten my entangled thoughts down in proper words.
I guess, the problem with it was that she didn't specify that I should get a PAPER diary, I have diligently recorded a digital diary everyday with "hmmmmmmmm" and there wasn't enough "hm" to fill up 32GB space in the diary as I originally thought, also it was repetitive it sort of fits the definition of insanity so I stopped. Guess my stream of thoughts is as sacred as my words. as though it stucks in a perpetual ice age. frozen.

Now I want ice shaved dessert.
The one that gives you brain freeze.

I have been very forgetful these days.
At first, it's a series of names
then it's series of strangers I appeared along with in photographs.
then it's recent events, conversations that I couldn't recall.
Strange.
Must have been the lack of tomatoes in my diet. You should see the price of that thing, it's rocketing to the space, landing on one of the furthest planet on the other side of the universe.

What's the name of that constellation?

My horoscope reads: Take longer than usual to make up your mind -- you know you need the time! Things are getting weird, but you can meet them halfway and maybe even take them to a whole new level! . it's from Astrology.com. What does it even mean? You can't just say a whole bunch of general shits and then drop them off the cliff.

Cliff-hanger, I wonder if it's a brother of coat-hanger, much bigger, more muscular brother.

Sometimes, my thoughts jump from one place to another. They're very athletic, if not mention, very acrobatic as well. I would totally award them if I could.

This place is very self-deprecating from the start.


I don't see the end. Not yet. Sometime you have to imagine yourself as a small snowpea floating in a big pot of vegetable soup and know that your existence doesn't matter, and that there are bigger things out there than you, beyond your knowledge and your control of how much salt and pepper you put in the soup.

I almost spat the whole thing out.

This is what happen when you read life philosophy while checking the planetarium app and also multitask on making sure you don't pour the whole jar of pepper in that bubbling pot of soup.



But if I can, I would like the pepper, wait I mean the snow pea... or is that the tomato. Oh right, the tomato price would drop so I can have tomato soup, so I would remember what I was meaning to talk about before I accidentally mention the pepper and forgot about what I was meaning to ...

Time loop.


I was 1, and then I was 23 and if I time-traveled to see my 1-year-old self and get stuck in that time, would 23 year-old me age anymore because I theoretically don't exist in the time where I would age normally. And if I don't exist, it means I die but I am still alive but at a different point of my own timeline and well, I'm not so sure where this would go so just leave it at that.

but soon it's gonna be the end of the year.




Snapping your fingers
Tapping your toes
You are humming in tune
You know, you know
This is a new day
This is a new day
This is a new day today
 
 
⚇: accomplishedaccomplished
♫: the truth ~ Sally Seltmann
 
 
F.any.T
30 August 2012 @ 09:09 pm
Sao mà nhìn ra đời thấy nhiều người giỏi giang, tài năng, cái gì cũng có nhìn lại mình lại thấy buồn.

Phải chi mà luyện đc khả năng "không nhìn lại mình" để thấy đời bớt bất công xấu xí đi.

Ở đời, cái làm con người ta dằn vặt khổ sở nhiều nhất không phải là sự túng thiếu hay bần hàn. Nó là cái sự tham lam, đố kị nằm trong tâm. Cứ đứng núi này nhìn sang núi nọ rồi mờ mắt đạp tan toàn bộ công sức của mình trong một phút chốc lửa giận bốc lên. Nhưng chắc thế vẫn còn đỡ hơn những người ko còn nhìn thấy đc ánh sáng nữa mà cứ mò mẫm trong bóng tối tìm cách gỡ lại.

mà đối với loại người chưa làm đã nản như mình thì cứ mà chết đi để trái đất đỡ thêm một thằng vô dụng, ông trời cũng bớt đc một thằng cằn nhằn không ngớt.

oh well...

"I came from a long line of quitter, It's a miracle that I'm here at all"
 
 
F.any.T
10 August 2012 @ 10:25 am
a senior friend of mine ask me if the relationship status on facebook was true because I seem to look genuinely happier than before. I broke it down to him it's a just a game us girl friends play and he was disappointed for me that whether it was true or not, if a part of me really like her or otherwise, I still deserve real love, not a play. I laughed. Amidst all the passer-by of my life, someone still hasn't given up on me.
 
 
F.any.T
19 April 2012 @ 12:05 am
compulsory wishlist pre birthday.

and it's gonna be another year let's make it a legendary oneCollapse )
Tags: ,
 
 
⚇: artisticartistic
♫: Noah and the Whale
 
 
 
F.any.T
I'm a bit tipsy, that's after 3 beers and a shot of wild turkey bourbon.

still feel irrelevant, on every level. doesn't feel like i'm needed anywhere in the world but being drunk stops me from thinking and that's what I need right now: don't think, just do.
 
 
F.any.T
12 February 2012 @ 09:29 pm
sometimes I think I need to talk to somebody about my tendency to starve myself to the verge of death.
 
 
F.any.T
26 October 2011 @ 10:05 pm
Nhà này vui mà, với cái sự hỗn tạp phong tục Bắc Trung Nam và chênh lệch tuổi tác không nhiều giữa mấy anh chị làm mình cảm tưởng như thật sự ở nhà. Lâu lắm rồi mới có cảm giác đc mấy ông anh lớn trêu trọc cái gì cũng :"Ph, ra anh bảo" - "Ph, con gái con đứa gì mà kì cục" - "Ph, nghe anh nói nè". Ở nhà lúc nào cũng là chị lớn, giờ ở đây làm em nhỏ suốt ngày đc mọi người chăm cho thật là hạnh phúc đó nha. Đó là còn chưa kể bữa trước bị bà chị nói trúng tim đen ngồi khóc cả đêm như một con điên, nhưng nói xong khóc xong thì nghĩ lại, nói trúng rồi thì thôi biết mình hay fickle như vậy thì ráng mà sửa, còn nếu thấy ko sai thì cũng nên quá bothered mà lên cơn uống rượu 1 mình lúc nửa đêm cho giờ bị cảm lạnh.

Pheep and Y2 going back, no more hanging out next year, everything gonna change. I don't do well with changes, ish freaking out a bit now. I guess all I want to hear is mom saying:" you know what, I can tell this year gonna be a good year". Mom possesses such powerful magic it's amazing :)
 
 
F.any.T
26 October 2011 @ 01:02 am
...because sometime i'm such a creepy stalker and social network has made everything easier

So here's the story: I used to work with this girl, today I heard that she's married to her cousin to get her residency in Australia. Not that I care about her, it's just everytimes I see her she has this eery resemblance to Yoona of SNSD. And ok, I know it's not okay to post her picture without her consent so please just keep it safe and sound in this post and no reposting to another blog
Yoona's Doppelganger this wayCollapse )
 
 
⚇: amusedamused
 
 
F.any.T
19 October 2011 @ 11:26 pm
 
nhớ lại ngày xưa bà thầy bói nói số mình ko hợp với người nhỏ tuổi, ở gần dễ bị vì ghen tức mà thành khổ, giờ ngẫm lại ý của bả là nhắm cho mình ghen tức nhiều nên mới khổ chớ không phải cho chúng nó =))

cái nhà này bệnh quá, bữa nào ăn cơm cũng tốn gần cả tiếng đồng hồ ngồi cười nghiêng ngả cho mấy câu chuyện bàn ăn tục không chịu nổi. Cái nhà nhìn bên ngoài cứ như nhà ma, có cái hàng cây thân 2, 3 người ôm trùm bóng hết cả căn nhà, chim bồ câu đầu đầy nóc, sân vườn ko ai chăm sóc cỏ mọc qua cổ chân, vậy mà "ma" trong nhà toàn "ma" trí thức, toàn dân học bổng thạc sĩ cả. Mà ở với mấy ông bà này xong sợ sau này mà ở 1 mình chắc tự kỉ chết quá. Cũng còn lâu đâu, tháng rưỡi nữa là chia tay chia chân rồi, ai về nhà đấy, chỉ còn đồ đạc ở đây nhớ mấy sự tích chém gió "vô tiền khoán hậu" của cái phòng ăn mỗi người một cái nồi cơm thôi.

buồn. nhưng năm nay cũng vui nhiều hơn buồn nên chắc cũng tính là đạt rồi